Ever got that feeling that you’re a complete mess? It’s like you want to set things right but nothing seems to end the silence? Being kept in silence or being left out in the dark probably IS the worst feeling you can experience. Making compromise is kinda easy but hard thing to do, because communicating the issue to get to the solution is the aim, not prolonging the problem then dwell to the abyss of the never ending argument.
People like to argue because they think about what IS personally right for each and one of them. To work as a unit takes more patience than ever expected. It’s a never ending process of engagements to produce solutions. People tend to stick to their problems but forgot that every problem had it owns solution. Building trust in reasoning to find out the solution is one step towards ending the arguments.
Compromising certain aspects is not something you can do in a blink of an eye. You need to hold your pants on certain boundaries, understanding that each and every individuals has different ways of processing information. Being familiar with the issue or the ‘why’ is the utmost important part of handling this particular situation. Arguments can arise just because you misunderstood what the other person is implying. At a split of a second what started to be a passive argument can turn into a violent spitfire. The blaming game started as the topic shifted from the initial problem into past and resolved problems. Hurting each other with words is the aim, to proof each person’s wrong doings, looking back and never resolving the problem at hand.
It’s a stalemate when the ignoring game is started. There’s no turning back, each person has to stand on his/her ground until one of them said ‘i’m sorry’ first. How ridiculous is that? Being a sentient being but taken over by emotions. It is not the matter of mind over body, but it’s the matter of mind over emotions. Putting aside the ugly feelings to sit in a common ground and talk things through. Quit making ridiculous assumptions about each other and start to say the truth. Try to keep an open mind to the situation in hand not about who is wrong or right, because in this situation, both of you can be wrong or right, depends on how you perceive it.
You don’t have to ask for a third party to walk things through or to assess the situation, both of you are enough. Remember why, at the beginning, the both of you got together. Remember why you work out your goals and why both of you started to work as a unit. Put aside personal feelings and let both of your logic do the talking. Stop the verbal assaults and the cruel gestures and both have a cup of tea. Try to create a comfortable situation and try to choose your words wisely, so there’s no more misunderstanding between you. This is not as simple as it seems, at first! When you are accustomed to this style of problem solving conversations, fight by fights, you will understand personally who the person in front of you is and try to compromise the differences. Wouldn’t it be sweet when people starts to conjoin their thoughts rather than taking their problem elsewhere in their separate ways. Basically our thoughts are interconnected, but we choose not to see the connections.